


Sometimes therapy is just taking a nap and that's valid

by Frog_that_writes



Series: The Bad Kids Get Therapy [3]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Autistic Riz Gukgak, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Therapy, also i mention all the other bad kids being autistic, but riz is the main character here, more like hurt/coping mechanism instructions, riz is going through it y'all, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frog_that_writes/pseuds/Frog_that_writes
Summary: The Bad Kids are good friends and force Riz to talk to Jawbone. Sometimes you get a little worse before you get better.(Mind the tags, panic attacks ahead)
Series: The Bad Kids Get Therapy [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1644157
Comments: 10
Kudos: 132





	Sometimes therapy is just taking a nap and that's valid

**Author's Note:**

> I'll restate one last time that there's a panic attack ahead, but since it's not the whole fix I'll hold the final and last word if you wish to skip the section. You wont miss anything dw :)) hope you enjoy !

There are moments where the seemingly boundless energy in Riz ran out, moments when his hands stilled and his feet remained planted firmly on the ground. There were times when the exhaustion, and earlier, in times he desperately hid from his mom, the hunger, would catch up to him and he was left with a pain that went beyond even being described as a migraine, just an ache in his head that spread to his everything else. 

To those that didn't know him, it almost looked like a switch flipping. One moment he was taking up space the way he usually did, unconsciously fighting for scraps of attention from everyone around him, and the next his limbs were tucked in to his body so tight he lived up to his nickname, and he was still. 

But his friends could see the subtle shifts after so much time spent together. They noticed the way he pushed his glasses onto the top of his head in one frustrated push with one clawed hand while the other rubbed his eyes. They noticed the way he scratched at his skin with a bit too much force. The Bad Kids saw when stared at the same page or the same clue for far too long, eyes unblinking and unmoving as he failed to take in or process any new information.

And they always somehow knew the best moment to suggest that maybe he should pay Jawbone a visit. 

With Riz it was always a challenge to suggest that he should take care of himself, so the word were often delivered with some edge of deception. One memorable time, Kristen had asked him to company her on her own visit before shoving him into the office and leaving him with a counselor who had been warned before hand. Even then he hadn't been angry at his friends, just a slight irrational frustration that they were distracting him from his work. 

But it had gotten a bit further today, and Riz had honestly been deprived of the energy needed to protest while his friends gently corralled him to the werewolf's office. It was just Adaine and Fabian, the earlier wanting to visit her guardian for a quick word and the later admitting his teacher for the period wouldn't care if he was late, and thinly veiled excuse that nearly screamed 'I want to make sure you're okay' that was nonetheless subtle enough to fly over Riz's admittedly underperforming radar. 

Riz made quick work of curling up on the overly plush couch upon entering the office, purposely keeping his eyes from pivoting in the direction of the whispered conversation between his favorite elven wizard and her lunar inclined guardian. When the food eventually closed with a gentle click, he also made quick work of burrowing just a little further into his knees to avoid talking. 

"First things first, kiddo," the gruff voice began anyways, "how much sleep are we working on here? Because if a quick nap is all you need, I can turn off the big lights and getcha a blanket." 

Riz made a noise he had only ever heard other goblins make, something half between a hum and groan that as far as he knew meant nothing. Jawbone patiently waited, taking it as the non answer it was. 

"Uh-" he faltered, vocal chords trying desperately to collaborate with his mind on the idea of making words. "I can't really, um, remember the last time I slept? I think Tuesday- does it count as sleeping if it happens while you're standing up and only lasts for a minute." 

"I think they call that passing out, actually," Jawbone said. Riz hummed again.

"So its safe to say we're working off too little sleep, then, right? Should I even ask about food?"

"Actually I had a bagel yesterday, and some coffee today, so I'm good," Riz informed him. Judging by the sound Jawbone made at that information, he probably wasn't as good as he thought. 

"Yikes kiddo, I really don't think I need to tell you that that's definitely not enough," he informed him gently. Had Riz even possessed the energy to take his head out his safety cocoon consisting on his hat shoved down on his head and his arms wrapped around whatever was uncovered, he wouldn't have just to avoid seeing the face that must have accompanied those words. 

"Sorry," he whispered, the word honestly the only thing he could get out at the moment. 

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to your body," the counselor snorted. "I'm going to take a wild stab and say you're wound up too tightly to sleep now anyways, huh?"

Hesitantly, Riz nodded, even as the slightly movement sent another wave of dull pain through his head. He screwed up his eyes tighter in defense. 

Jawbone must have noticed some unfelt changing in his body language, because he carefully got up to switch off the overhead lights, leaving only the salt lamp on his desk still illuminated. Riz felt himself release tension he didn't even know he had, the decrease in light coming as a much needed change. 

"So, you probably don't want to talk right now, but I think it's the best option at the moment besides getting some food and water into you." He took one of Riz's hands and carefully brought it away from the neck it had been digging into and replaced it with a blessedly cool bottle of water. "Drink this, we'll worry about food when we make sure you keep the water down, okay?"

The goblin forced himself to take small sips rather than chugging the whole bottle at once after hesitantly unfolding himself enough to drink. His stomach certainly showed its appreciation when he had to stop midway through bottle, and he knew he would have thrown up had he tried to drink it all, previously unknown dehydration be damned. 

"So, what's got you so far into your head you're not sleeping or eating kid? You've been getting a lot better lately, and while I know this is just a bump and not a total set back, something probably triggered this sort of response."

**Riz** inhaled sharply, mind scrambling to come up with some sort of acceptable answer. Because if he was to be honest with himself, and by extension Jawbone, he  _ didn't know _ why was back to pretty friends Riz. This was more than a shut down brought about by a period of hyperfixation that lasted a little too long, and the odd feeling in his chest like there was a hook attempting to rip his heart out could attest to that. Maybe he was just tired and hungry, and maybe he had just been focused on finding clues that weren't there for too long. And maybe his friends had realized that, and god, they were probably so angry with him for ignoring them for so long. They were also so nice, and they had made sure he got to Jawbone's okay even though he was an absolutely terrible friend. Why did they even hang out with someone as pathetic as he was? All he did was drag them down all the time, they deserved someone better. And so did his mom, for that matter. She deserved a son who didn't always cause her to worry so much, or a son that could just be normal and not be some **fr-**

"Hey, Riz, you're spiralling bud, come back to me now." Jawbone's voice came over the sound of his own quickening breath, and Riz felt himself falling into a breathing pattern as the werewolf counted it out. 

"Four… three… two… one, there you go, now in for eight, ya' got this."

"S-sorry," Riz managed between breaths.

"I'll tell you what I always tell Adaine; never apologize for your brain making you go through hell, okay? Was that the first time you've ever had a panic attack."

"If that's what whatever the hell that just was, then yes," Riz nodded desperately, despite the fact that the swiveling motion made his already worsened migraine from the hyperventilating even worse. 

"Hm, you might have had them in the past, just in different forms, but I can tell you're really not up for talking about it right now. Drink a bit more water," he said, gently motioning to the bottle still clutched in the detective''s hand.

It was silent for a few minutes while Riz drank, Jawbone waiting patiently for him to gather his thoughts. 

"Everything just feels like  _ too much."  _ Is what Riz decided on eventually. The guidance counselor nodded and spoke. 

"I get that, but we should definitely start with the basics. We're getting some water in you, but you're definitely still a bit dehydrated so we'll put a pin in that. Food has gotta wait until you're feeling a bit more settled, same with food. Another two pins. Have you stimmed lately?"

Riz could slap himself.

Because okay, he wasn't  _ ashamed  _ of being neurodivergent, but sometimes it was a little much combined with being a goblin, and he already had people suspicious of him the moment he walked a little o close to their bag, and waving his arms around hardly helped. So his arms would stay glued at his side unless he was fighting or they slipped into movement when he rambled about his latest case. But it was  _ fine  _ because he told himself he could just stim at home in private. Realistically, he knew he was safe around the other Bad Kids. Gotgug fully admitted his hoodie was a pressure stim for him, and wearing anything lighter just felt wrong. Adaine whispered the Elven alphabet forward and backwards whenever she got too stressed. And Fabian didn't like the admit it, but he drummed his fingers against his check whenever he got self conscience about something. 

But that didn't erase years of elementary school bullying. Years of well meaning teachers suggesting he should sit on his hands and telling him to use "quite body language." And it didn't erase his naturally born tendencies to stop doing something once someone pointed out that it's 'weird.' 

But here in Jawbone's office, where the lights were dimmed and the water was slowly working to take some of the black off the edges of his vision, where the counselor himself regularly rocked on his own comfy chair, he knew he was space. 

His hands came out from his side and moved in quick up and down flaps nearly before he had even made the decision to let them, the remaining tension draining from his body with the movements. Eventually, there was a content numbness in them, and he slowly brought them back down.

"I'm going to take that as a no?" He asked, raising brow portraying sarcasm but gentle smile letting Riz know he was teasing. The others, especially Kristen, always told him that it was weird that he was able to read body language, but Riz had spent enough time studying the clues that were used to tip off interrogators that it almost came easily to him now. There was still that layer of removal, like when you have to translate a foreign language in your head as you read it, but it wasn't as bad as the others apparently. 

"Yeah, I didn't realize how long it had been," he admitted sheepishly. Jawbone simply shook his head. 

"Look, I've got no appointments today, so I can offer you use of my couch for the last-" he glanced down at the watch the whole group had pitched in to get him a thank you gift- "two hours of the school day, but I think you should at least go eat lunch once the bell rings first."

Sensing disagreement, he raised his hand.

"Not too much, just get those fucking fruit snack things they always have by the register. Get Fabien to lend you the silver for 'em, you know he will." 

"Fine," he agreed with some reluctance. "But only because I'm really hungry now. Are you sure you don't mind me sleeping in here? I know you probably have work to do, and other kids might need to see you."

"I can do paperwork while you sleep," he shrugged. "And the last two periods are usually my least busy time of the day, kids who feel like shit at this point just leave early for the day."

"Okay, but you have to wake me up and-" a large yawn where Jawbone almost swore he could hear his jaw popping interrupted- " kick me out if someone does show up." 

"Deal," Jawbone promised, silently crossing his fingers behind his back. What the kid didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

Jawbone didn't know exactly when he had signed up to be a dad, probably some time after he became Tracker's legal guardian after this piece of shit brother couldn't get his head out of his ass long enough to realize no one worth anything was actually homophobic anymore. But the rest of the kids had come along without him making any conscience chooses besides taking up the sweet girl he almost cursed with lycanthropy on her offer of a job. And maybe saying he felt like he was their dad was presumptuous, and would also be a little problematic when Fabian and Riz figured out what they had going on, but Jawbone was never one to attempt to hide how he felt from himself. 

So while the goblin slept soundly on his couch and he filled out paper work by the light of his lamp, he didn't try to convince himself he wasn't grateful every damn day he got to help these kids. One day, they wouldn't need him anymore. They would figure out the coping mechanism, memorize the breathing patterns, chant the affirmations as easy as breathing, and all the other shit that takes you years to figure out even when you're out of the scenarios actually creating the trauma. But until that day, he would be here with a cup of tea and a gruff comment and surprisingly good therapy. 

And the weed, but, well, that was neither here nor there, and Kristen and Fig were the only ones who took him up on the offer anyways. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all liked this, please leave a comment/kudo if you did!  
> Check out my bullying tf out of Riz tho I'm sorry baby ur just so easy to project onto


End file.
